Whats next?

I have been home for over two months.

Crazy. Loco. Nunba.

Call it what you like but its STILL surreal to be home.

Ladakh and my experiences there are NEVER far from my mind. They seem to direct the undercurrent of my thoughts, forever changing the way I view the world. I am grateful for my experiences and the way they are shaping my perceptions of the world, opening my eyes to another level of global citizenship and way of living.

However, I am soon to be a senior and I now live back in the "Ocean State" at sea level. My time for 11at11000.blogspot.com is over....and I look forward to continuing at www.wheredoesitallfitin.blogspot.com!

WORLDYATO!

Sooo...I am very delayed, over a week actually, in posting an exciting announcement.....

WorldYato's website is up and running!

Please take some time and explore the website. Browse through our "creations" - profits from any sales will help to fund the artificial glacier in Ursi, Ladakh!

Crayons & "Now-ness" :)

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."

~ Buddha

My eyes lock with hers and we break into laughter. I don’t know what is so funny and honestly, I don’t really care – what is better then laughter?

We squeal together, not caring who hears us (then again, no one is home). We laugh and laugh and laugh before a short break to breath….and then we keep laughing.

Coloring has never been so fun. I look down at my picture, with its identifiable subject and glance at hers, a beautiful mesh of pink and orange and blue and red and green and brown. There are no shapes, no boundaries, no distinct subject.

And I admit, I am jealous.

How can a two year old out color me?

Sure, my drawing might easily be defined at a “dog” but what’s the fun in that? It’s all outlined in society’s expectations of what a “dog” should look like….it must have ears, eyes, nose, tail, legs. I want something with no previous societal expectations. I want something that is pure randomness yet stands for something in MY mind.

Picking up a crayon in my right hand, my left hand feels empty and bare.

I watch Paige color, absorbed in her own world, and begin to copy her.

Its hard.

Like really hard.

My mind thinks “oh I should make a circle here for an eye” or “maybe I should color in the ear now.” But I stop, turn the paper upside down and draw a squiggle. And then another. And another. And I just keep going.

I am totally captivated by coloring. I am totally captivated by the moment, really.

And I feel the same way I did when I climbed up mountains in India or when I (attempted) to talk to local Ladakhis with a various of hilarious gestures or when I helped Benoy in the SECMOL kitchen or when I would lie by the Indus, staring up at beautifully blue sky.

I felt alive.

I felt in the moment, happy for the sake of happiness, lost in the “now-ness.”

And I am happy to feel it here, knowing that lowering my boundaries might just be the perfect way to feel “now-ness.”

WorldYato Update!!! WootWoot!

A month ago today...

I wandered through Majnu-ka-tilla in Delhi, stopping and talking to the occasional street vendor.

I visited Moya's auntie and uncle, watching and observing the bond of family as they seamlessly extended their welcome to an additional ten people.

I ate at a wonderful restaurant recommended by a ma gala yato (very good friend) and enjoyed zimpo (delicious) paneer dosa in a dozen different forms.

And then, rushing through Delhi traffic, I arrived at the airport and boarded a plane, tearfully saying "Jullay" to the best ache-lay, Kunzes.

And today...

I returned to a million different memories as I poured through my iPhoto searching for just the right photos to be showcased on the new WorldYato website! What better way to reflect than to return to those memories and use them to aid the village of Ursi?

Antonyms yet Synonyms

So here I am, in this crazy technological world sitting on a bus going to visit friends in Vermont AND I have wifi…while flying down the highway at 60 mph! A million and one thoughts are flying through my head – last time I was on a bus was in Ladakh, our last fieldtrip and we had a massively nunba (crazy) dance party. It is certainly a stark contrast to the quiet coach I am sitting on now, the hum of the engine and my fingers tapping on the computer keys the only noise that fills the air. There is no loud music, no base reverberating, no bumps, no dust, no mountains. I am in Boston still, surrounded by tall sky scrappers and big highways, paved of course. The ride is smooth, the seats are comfy (they even have seatbelts!)

I read a blog post by Maggie Doyne (a women who constantly inspires me as she works in Nepal to help local children – visit her blog/website www.blinknow.org!) recently about the amazing idea of having so many different cultures, landscapes, technologies all hosted on this small planet called Earth. I am beginning to realize that, yes, earth is covered in a million different communities (human and non-human). And part of my incredible experience of traveling and living in the Himalayas of India is to become exposed to another community but to also face the challenge of understanding the interconnectedness of the world.

How does the village Ursi, which will forever hold a special place in my heart, relate to the town of East Greenwich? They are just under ten thousand miles apart yet they seem to be separated by a million miles while simultaneously being next door neighbors. Ladakhis and “EGpas” have a completely different sense of time, of ownership, of materialism. I feel torn between the two – wanting the “best of both worlds” (yes, I did just quote Miley Cyrus).

Funks

I am in a funk.

I am stuck in the spot between reality and imagination.

I want so badly to be back in Ladakh, surrounded by SECMOLpas in the kitchen or sitting down by my favorite spot on the Indus river or lying on the roof in my sleeping bag, wishing upon shooting stars.

My realistic self wants me to move on, knowing that I won't be back for several, if not many, years. It keeps nagging me to be thankful for the experiences I had, the sights I saw, the friends I made. Most of the time it wins, Ladakh crossing my mind constantly, at every corner, but never lingering.

Today, though, its lingering. My thoughts are filled of Ladakh, of SECMOLpas, of VISpas. I have a deep yearning, deep, deep, deep, to be there right now, this very minute. I want to be liberated of social norms for an American teenager, I want to be liberated of technology, of constantly planning for the future. I want to just be.

I want to always have someone to talk to, no matter the time of day or topic. I want to learn Ladakhi from SECMOLpas, and laugh loudly at my constant mispronunctions. I want to relax with my VISpas, doing nothing in particular other then just being together.

But that is my wants, my imagination, my past. That is it. These are the moments of my past. And so my realistic self is right, when it nags at me to move on and live in this moment. To explore on my own and find a balance here. And it's hard. I am not fully ready to move on but I hate feeling this way - like I can't think clearly, like I am suddenly alone and alienated. Especially because I know that none of that is true....but I guess that is why I am in a funk.

Grrrrrrr!

Re-re-adjusting

I have been home one week. Weird.

I never thought that leaving Ladakh and my fellow VISpas would be so hard. I never imagined that "reentering" American society would feel so strange. And I never thought I would miss all of it so much!

The first few days back were really, really hard. After living with a group of nine friends for almost four months I felt so alone. It was so quiet and I didn't always have someone to talk to. Lying in bed the first night back, overwhelmed and jetlagged, I was so confused. It seemed like everything back in little ole RI had changed SO much and yet it all felt way too familiar. I know, in reality, I am the one who has changed but still....its strange.

I feel like everywhere I go I see someone I know. It is nice to see familiar faces. However I am always asked, not very suprisngly, "How was India?!"

And simply, I do not really know how to answer other then "Amazing" or "Incredible." I feel as if I should have some funny or crazy tale to tell but I don't. I think I am still processing it all, trying to reassure myself it was all real and not a dream. It is so hard to summerize my three and half months abroad into such a short time - I feel like I could ramble on and on about my experiences and yet when the time comes, I have nothing to say! Grrrr!

I am not quite over the shock of all the technology we have in America yet. I was making some hot water today....and all I had to do was turn a knob! No fighting with the propane stove and the lighter or working to balance the uneven pot over the flames. It seemed sort of...boring. While the water heated I sat at the counter, reading news online and thinking about the SECMOL kitchen. There I would be talking to Benoy and other students as the water boiled, probably helping to cut up some vegetable or sort through rice or stirring tea. It's just different.